Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
