Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
