He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
