He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
