I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
