Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize