I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
