I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
