i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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