guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
