It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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