clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize