Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
