walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
