My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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