i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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