i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
