Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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