if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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