Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
