The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
