this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
