I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
porn star boner night. come get it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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