a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
