I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
