She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
