i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
