Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize