Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
