What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
that's an acceptable place to lick
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
