You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
