I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
