Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
