im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
