Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
