The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
