i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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