Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
