It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
