Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
North Korea, Best Korea!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
