I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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