We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize