I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
