omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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