How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
barbara walters just said penis...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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