I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
