So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
