is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
