I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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