he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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