great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
