he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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