So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
