you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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