Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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