I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
