Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
