I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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