so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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