In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
