I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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