Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
