so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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