You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They took my balls.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
