I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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