what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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