I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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