i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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