Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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