i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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