I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
