yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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