I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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