butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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